New Town

January 18th, 2012

Today was my first day at my new school, Spanish Fork Jr. High. When I walked in I went to the counseling office to get my schedul. I had to change my 1st period twice and once the night before. This confusion took all of first period. As I went through each of my periods, each one was a blur. There are so many students and so many names to memorize. In most of my classes, the kids are friendly and very welcoming. Other classes are not that way. I try to be "outgoing" and get to know all the kids. Most already have their own "groups" and are content with the number of people in it and are not about to open a spot up for "the new girl".

I keep thinking that this is all just temporary. Like I'm in my grandma's ward visiting and that soon, I will be back in my own ward and old school. As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months, only then am I starting to realize.......I won't be going back. I am usually an outgoing person. Very content and happy. But this move has turned me into more of a solemn, quiet person.

 The outgoing girl is still there-- findable, but it's not as easy to find her anymore. It's a relief moving when back home you've been bullied and abused by your own church members and neighbors--which is unfortunately the case with several of my family members. Yet it is not the case with me, so I am sad, but I am happy for my family, who like it, but I have to say....it hasn't been the easiest thing for me. I know I am here now and will do what I'm supposed to do what my parents expect, but I suppose I'm not liking it as much as they are. But I will stick it through.